This Is the No. 1 Reason Americans Are Stressed at Work

By Morgan Greenwald  & Best Life

If you were to make a list of all the things that made you stressed at work, you’d probably need an entire notebook. With catty co-workers, difficult bosses, and long hours, work is a huge source of anxiety for Americans. But, based on new research from search platform Comparably, there is one work stressor that prevails above the rest, and it’s probably not what you think.

Comparably polled nearly 21,000 Americans of all ages, professions, educational backgrounds, ethnicities, and experience levels at small, mid-size, and large companies. They asked the participants six questions about their job anxieties, and found that having unclear goals was what the majority of people listed as their main source of stress at work.

A staggering 41 percent of Americans cited unclear goals as the main reason they’re stressed at work, according to the Comparably poll. Meanwhile, 16 percent of workers get anxious over their commute or bad boss (a tie for the second biggest work stressor). And in third place, 13 percent of participants said long hours are their top source of anxiety.

When the results of the survey were split by gender, having unclear goals was still the top cause of stress. However, men seemed to be slightly more anxious about a lack of clarity (43 percent) than women (37 percent).

Comparably also asked participants about their biggest work concerns. Almost half of all respondents said they fear that their job will become tedious and stagnant, even more so than they fear getting passed up for a promotion, having an emotional breakdown, or upsetting their boss. This concern is most prevalent among executives, where 62 percent of respondents listed it as their top concern.

Now that there’s statistical proof that you’re hardly the only one feeling stressed at work, what can you do to help yourself? Of course, finding a healthy work-life balance is always a good place to start.

When you feel like you’re about to explode at your desk, you can also try these work busters:

Be Comfortable With Discomfort. Rename anxiety and call it opportunity
Then Bend Over Backward.  Take a stretch break.
Use a Spotter. Your mind naturally wants to draw strength from others.
Create a Three-Legged Life, Home, work, self—will create a buffer against stress
Stop Measuring Your Life Against Others. Accept yourself and like who you are.
Prioritize You. Make getting enough sleep and exercise a priority
Relive the Past to Face the Future.  Be mindful how you triumphed over past setbacks
Turn Trouble Into Transformation,  an opportunity to escape programmed living and transform yourself.
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A Deceptively Simple Way to Find More Happiness at Work

By TIM HERRERA  & The New York Times

Now, I don’t mean that in the broad sense of wondering whether you’re on the right career path. I mean on a day-to-day basis, if you thought about every single task your job entails, could you name the parts that give you genuine joy? What about the tasks you hate?

It’s an odd question. We don’t often step back to ask whether the small, individual components of our job actually make us happy.

But maybe we should. As many as a third of United States workers say they don’t feel engaged at work. The reasons vary widely, and everyone’s relationship with work is unique. But there are small ways to improve any job, and those incremental improvements can add up to major increases in job satisfaction.

A study from the Mayo Clinic found that physicians who spend about 20 percent of their time doing “work they find most meaningful are at dramatically lower risk for burnout.” But here’s what’s fascinating: Anything beyond that 20 percent has a marginal impact, as “spending 50 percent of your time in the most meaningful area is associated with similar rates of burnout as 20 percent.”

In other words: You don’t need to change everything about your job to see substantial benefits. A few changes here and there can be all you need.

“When you look at people who are thriving in their jobs, you notice that they didn’t find them, they made them,” said Ashley Goodall, senior vice president of leadership and team intelligence at Cisco and co-author of the book “Nine Lies About Work.”

“We’re told in every commencement speech that if you find a job you love you’ll never work a day in your life. But the verb is wrong,” he said, adding that successful people who love their jobs take “the job that was there at the beginning and then over time they transform the contents of that job.”

To be sure, transforming your job isn’t easy. But you have to start somewhere, and there’s a wonderfully simple but surprisingly revealing trick that can help.

For a full week, carry a notepad at all times. Draw a line down the center of a page and label one column “Love” and the other column “Loathe.” Whenever you perform a task, no matter how small, be mindful of how it makes you feel. Are you excited about it? Do you look forward to it? Does time fly when you’re doing it? Or did you procrastinate, dreading every moment and feeling drained by the time you’re done?

It seems silly, I know. But this exercise — which Mr. Goodall and his co-author, Marcus Buckingham, co-head and talent expert at the A.D.P. Research Institute, write about in their book and practice in their lives — can show you hidden clues and nuances about work.

“It’s a beautifully simple way to inventory your emotional reactions to the reality of your day or week at work,” Mr. Buckingham said. “Understand what it is that lights you up. Understand what you run toward. Understand where you are at your most energetic, your most creative, your most alive, and then volunteer for that more and more and more,” he added.

This is, of course, just a starting point. You won’t instantly be happier at work once you have a list of things you dislike about your job. But this exercise gives you a road map about how to focus your time and energy on the things that get you excited. Rather than trying to get better at things you hate doing and know you’re not great at, reframe the issue and try to do more things that energize you and that you excel at. No one can tell you what those things are, and discovering them can be transformative.

“If you don’t know what you’re like when you’re in love with your work, no one can do that for you,” Mr. Buckingham said. “This has always been in your hands, and it cannot be in anyone else’s.”

What do you love and loathe about your job?  That is your assignment.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/career/a-deceptively-simple-way-to-find-more-happiness-at-work/ar-BBVI9mq?ocid=spartanntp

A Message to Joe Biden

By Lindsay Geller & Woman’s Health

Your ‘Innocent’ Flirting Might Actually Be Cheating If You Cross These Lines

Okay, so maybe you put one too many Y’s on the end of a “hey” text to an old friend. Or maybe you held your coworker’s shoulder for a second longer than necessary at a work happy hour. You’re already in a relationship, so it’s all just harmless flirting, right? Well, it is… until it isn’t.

Sometimes, flirting that seems innocent at first can become a “slippery slope” and eventually turn into cheating, says Susan Krauss Whitbourne, PhD, a professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Still, she doesn’t consider flirting a form of cheating “as long as it remains at that level.”

Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of Finding Love Again: 6 Simple Steps to a New and Happy Relationship and professor at Oakland University in Michigan, agrees and adds: “Flirting is when you intentionally want to attract the attention of someone, or when you signal an interest in interacting more with someone. These actions don’t necessarily mean you want to have sex or become emotionally close to that person.”

So, you don’t need to worry if you or your S.O. pays extra attention to a friend or signs off the occasional friendly email with XOX. “All these behaviors are friendly behaviors to attract or signal a desire to interact, not have a romantic relationship or sexual relationship,” explains Orbuch. “How these behaviors are interpreted is another thing.” While you think your flirty vibe is just another part of your personality, the person you’re flirting with could see it as a desire for a relationship or a sexual connect. Oops.

This doesn’t mean you can’t chat up the cute bartender when you’re out with friends. Just know that flirting can cross the line into emotional cheating-sometimes, without you even realizing it. Here’s how to tell when:

1. You’re afraid to tell your partner about the person you’re flirting with.

2. You go to the other person for emotional support and connection.

3. You tell them things your partner doesn’t even know.

4. You’re constantly flirting.

5. You have inside jokes with your flirty person.

6. You find yourself thinking about the other person when you’re with your partner.

 

Uh oh… I’ve crossed the line. Now what?

Don’t pretend it’s not happening-it is. The first step is admitting that to yourself, and the second is looking inward to figure out why, says Whitbourne. She even recommends trying to imagine what your future could look like if your flirtation actually lead to something more. Chances are it’s not worth sacrificing your actual relationship. Then, depending on your relationship, Whitbourne recommends being honest with to your partner so, together, you can address what you were looking for in that other person and what bigger problems your flirtatious behavior could be hinting at.

From there, Orbuch recommends setting flirting rules and boundaries that you’re both comfortable with. You may have to change or compromise your behavior, but, she says, “caring about what makes the other partner upset is important in a relationship.” On the flipside, if the flirting partner dismisses the other’s feelings and doesn’t modify their behavior, you might want to call it quits. Flirting seems like a small thing, sure, but you shouldn’t feel like you’re not a priority in your own relationship. Let your partner know where you stand and, if need be, walk away.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/family-relationships/your-innocent-flirting-might-actually-be-cheating-if-you-cross-these-lines/ar-BBVpdsg?ocid=spartanntp

Here’s How Telemarketers Keep Getting Your Number

By Lauren Cahn & Readers Digest

This is one of my few pet peeves.  Robo calls, “anonymous” caller calls, callers who misrepresent their purpose (spammers, scofflaws, etc).  Grrr. This article may shed light on how these callers get your number, and what you can do about it.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/did-you-know/heres-how-telemarketers-keep-getting-your-number/ss-BBUvIrO?ocid=spartanntp

5 essential lessons from ‘Rich Dad, Poor Dad’

I am not a financial planner, stock broker, realtor, etc.  Just a writer who thought this article might interest some who follow my blog.  I was seriously thinking about  advice #3 and how that might affect some writers wanting to “hit it big”.

 

By Dave Schools

If you’ve ever searched “best personal finance books to read” on Google, you’ve most likely seen the title “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” appear at the very top. The book, written by Robert T. Kiyosaki and Sharon L. Lechter, has reportedly sold more than 32 million copies in 40 languages across 40 countries since it was published in 2002.

“Rich Dad, Poor Dad” is an allegorical story about Robert Kiyosaki and his two dads, and how growing up with them shaped his financial views. The “rich dad” is Kiyosaki’s biological father, a highly educated college professor. The “poor dad” is Kiyosaki’s best friend’s father, a wealthy entrepreneur who owns dozens of businesses. Both dads offer conflicting advice on money.

Poor Dad mentality

“Poor dad” believes that one should work for money as a single-salaried employee at a stable job, and that a person’s wealth largely depends on their family background. He believes that the most important things you can do to financially survive (or accumulate wealth) is to read and learn from successful people. Many people think this mentality can trap a person into working a job they don’t love, but is willing to stick with because they have to pay the bills.

Rich Dad mentality

“Rich dad” advises Kiyosaki to get a job so he can learn the skills required to be an entrepreneur. Wealth comes from experience-based learning and multiple income streams. When the “poor dad” encourages working your way up the ladder, “rich dad” laughs and says, “Why not own the ladder?”

While the advice in “Rich Dad, Poor Dad” — and from Kiyosaki himself — have garnered some controversial attention, the book does offer a handful of power lessons that can be useful to anyone looking broaden their views on money.

Here are some essential takeaways:

1. The rich buy assets, not liabilities

An asset is anything that puts money into your pocket, like a bond or house (that you purchase and then rent out to other people). A liability is anything that costs you money because it loses value over time, like an expensive car or television set. It’s important to be able to distinguish the two. “The rich buy assets. The poor only have expenses. The middle class buy liabilities they think are assets,” writes Kiyosaki.

2. Financial literacy can only be learned through experience

The well-educated “poor dad” says, “Studying hard and getting good grades is the only way to secure a good job at a big company with excellent benefits. But the “rich dad” says that the most important goal is to learn how money works so you can make it work for you. To be financially smart, Kiyosaki says you must master accounting, investing, markets and the law. The more you broaden your skills, the more successful you’ll be.

3. Learn to sell

In the book, a woman with a master’s degree in English literature asks Kiyosaki how she can become a best-selling author. He tells her to enroll in a sales-training course. Shocked by his answer, she says, “You aren’t serious, are you…” Kiyosaki picks up a book on the coffee table and says, “There’s a reason successful books say ‘best-selling author,’ not ‘best-writing author.'”  Selling is a crucial skill if you want to be rich, he explains. Get out of your comfort zone, practice selling and network. If you don’t, you’ll never be able to run your own business.

4. Fear and self-doubt are your greatest barriers to success

The primary difference between the rich and the poor is how they manage fear. “Poor dad” keeps it safe and avoids risks. This perspective can be costly in the long-run. “Often in the real world, it’s not the smart who get ahead, but the bold,” says “rich dad.”

5. Always think in terms of opportunities

The “rich dad” forbids his kids from saying, “I can’t afford it.” Instead, he tells them to say, “How can I afford it?” The first phrase shuts down a person’s brain, and they no longer have to think. The second one opens up “possibilities, excitement and dreams.” It forces the brain to search for answers. Kiyosaki learns that the “primary reason the majority of the poor and middle class are fiscally conservative—which means, ‘I can’t afford to take risks’—is that they have no financial foundation.”

Dave Schools is a freelance editor and brand storyteller. He is the founding editor of Entrepreneur’s Handbook, a top-50 Medium publication, and the co-founder of Party Qs app. His work has appeared in Axios, Inc., Smashing Magazine, The Next Web, Business Insider, Quartz and Crunchbase.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/money/personalfinance/5-essential-lessons-from-rich-dad-poor-dad/ar-BBV0Qgr?ocid=spartanntp